How-To

TikTok Messages: Who Can DM You and How to Control It

Updated 10 min read
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Only registered accounts aged 16 and older can use TikTok messages, and where a message lands depends on how you’re connected. If you’re 18 or over, messages from friends (followers you follow back) and accounts you follow land in your inbox; everyone else must send a message request, and gets just one. Ages 13 to 15 can’t use DMs.

TikTok publishes messaging steps for the app only, so every route below is in the TikTok app. New to the term? See what DM means, and how to use TikTok for the rest of the app. YouTube has partly brought messaging back, in its mobile app and for adults only: see how to message someone on YouTube.

Table of Contents

Who can send you TikTok messages?

If you’re 18 or over, friends and accounts you follow can message you directly, and everyone else needs a message request first. TikTok’s friends are mutual follows, what many people call mutuals.

Who’s messaging youWhere it lands
Friends (followers you follow back)Your inbox
Accounts you followYour inbox. On a private account, only once they follow you too
Followers you don’t follow back, people you may know and others on TikTokMessage requests, one per sender until you accept

Registered Business or Organization Accounts can choose Inbox instead, to get messages from potential connections and others directly. To control who can send requests, set Potential connections and Others on TikTok to Requests or Don’t receive:

In the app: To manage who can send you message requests:

  1. In the TikTok app, tap Profile at the bottom.
  2. Tap the Menu ☰ button at the top, then select Settings and privacy.
  3. Tap Privacy.
  4. Tap Direct messages.
  5. Choose from the list of options who can send you a message request: Potential connections (Requests or Don't receive) and Others on TikTok (Requests or Don't receive).

Checked against TikTok Help Center: How to manage who can message you.

Choosing Don’t receive still leaves your message history and existing chats working, unless you block the person. Checked against TikTok Help Center: Who can send direct messages on TikTok

Pitching a creator as a brand? A message request may be your only try, so write where they ask brands to, as our influencer outreach guide explains.

How old do you have to be to message on TikTok?

16. TikTok says direct messaging is available to registered account holders aged 16 and older, and parents and guardians can restrict it through Family Pairing. Under-18s have tighter rules:

  • 13 to 15: no direct messages, whether the account is private or public.
  • 16 to 17: messages from others arrive as message requests unless the teen chooses Don’t receive, and on a private account others on TikTok can’t send a request unless they follow the teen. TikTok’s Direct messages article adds that under-18s’ message requests are set to Don’t receive by default.

Checked against TikTok Help Center: Who can send you direct messages on TikTok (users under 18).

How do you send a message on TikTok?

From Inbox, tap an existing chat; tap the Chat button (in select regions) for someone who follows you back; or tap Message on the profile of someone you both follow. To send a video, effect, hashtag or sound, use its Share button:

In the app: To send a direct message from your inbox:

  1. In the TikTok app, to start a chat: tap the name of an existing chat in your inbox; or, if you follow someone and they follow you back, tap the Chat button (in select regions) at the top, then search for or tap their name; or tap Message from someone's profile if you both follow each other.
  2. Choose how you want to send your message: type a message in the message bar, or tap the Emoji button to send GIFs, emojis and stickers.
  3. If needed, tap the Send button to send your message.

In the app: To share a video, effect, hashtag or sound in a message:

  1. In the TikTok app, go to the video or other shareable content, like an effect, hashtag, or sound that you'd like to share.
  2. Tap the Share button. For videos, you can also press and hold the video you'd like to share.
  3. Tap the profile photo of the person you'd like to share with. You can select multiple people to share with.
  4. Enter an optional message, then send the message.

Checked against TikTok Help Center: How to send a direct message.

Private videos can’t be shared. TikTok gives no web or desktop steps for messaging, and direct messaging isn’t available in the separate TikTok Studio app. Checked against TikTok Help Center: TikTok Studio

Voice messages

Voice messages run up to 60 seconds, work in group chats too and can be deleted within 3 minutes of sending; TikTok says they aren’t available everywhere.

In the app:

  1. In the TikTok app, tap Inbox at the bottom.
  2. Tap a name from the Messages list to go to the chat. Or tap the Chat button at the top, then search or tap the name(s) you want to direct message.
  3. Press and hold the Record button while you record your message. If it's your first time using the microphone on TikTok, you'll be prompted to give access to it. You can record a voice message up to 60 seconds long.
  4. While recording a voice message, you can choose to: release the Record button to send; swipe across to delete the recording; or swipe up to lock the recording and continue to record without pressing and holding, then tap the Send button to send or the Delete button to discard.

Checked against TikTok Help Center: Direct messages.

What are message requests, and why can you only send one?

A message request is how someone who can’t message you directly reaches you, and each sender gets one until you accept it. If you delete it or don’t respond, they can’t message you again. When you accept, they’re notified in the chat.

In the app: To accept or delete a message request:

  1. In the TikTok app, tap Inbox at the bottom.
  2. Tap Message requests, then select a chat request. Some chats may appear in your filtered requests.
  3. Tap Accept to receive the message or Delete to remove the request from your inbox. You can also tap Report to report the message. If you accept the request, the person is notified in the chat.

Checked against TikTok Help Center: A few things to know about message requests.

Can people see if you read their TikTok message?

Only when both of you have read status turned on. TikTok switches it on by default for people aged 18 and older, and you can turn it off:

In the app:

  1. In the TikTok app, tap Profile at the bottom.
  2. Tap the Menu ☰ button at the top, then select Settings and privacy.
  3. Tap Privacy.
  4. Tap Direct messages, then turn the Read status setting on or off.

Checked against TikTok Help Center: How to manage read status.

To unsend, Delete for everyone works within 3 minutes of sending; Delete for me removes a message only for you.

In the app: To delete a single direct message:

  1. Go to the chat in your inbox.
  2. Press and hold the direct message, then tap Delete. Tap Delete for me to delete it only for you, or Delete for everyone within 3 minutes of sending the message.

Checked against TikTok Help Center: How to delete or mute messages.

How do group chats work on TikTok?

Private group chats are for mutual friends only; public group chats can have up to 300 members, and others on TikTok can discover and join them. Neither is available everywhere. You can start a private group from your inbox, or from a post, where you can choose up to 31 people:

In the app: From your inbox:

  1. In the TikTok app, tap Inbox at the bottom.
  2. Tap the Chat button at the top. You can also tap a name from the Messages list to go to the chat and tap the More options … button at the top.
  3. Select friends you want to include in the group. Keep in mind that you can only invite mutual followed friends to the group chat.
  4. Tap Start group chat.

In the app: From a post:

  1. In the TikTok app, go to the video that you'd like to share.
  2. Tap the Share button or press and hold the post to display sharing options.
  3. Select Create group chat with friends and choose the friends you'd like to share with. You can choose up to 31 people.
  4. Enter an optional message, then tap Send.

Checked against TikTok Help Center: Private group chats on TikTok.

TikTok states no overall size limit for private group chats, and publishes no steps for creating or joining a public one. Checked against TikTok Help Center: Public group chats on TikTok

On 8 December 2025, TikTok announced Shared Feed, 15 videos a day inside a DM chat, and said it would roll out in the coming months. Checked against TikTok Newsroom: New ways for friends and families to discover, share, and connect on TikTok (8 December 2025) Bulletin boards are covered in what is a bulletin board on TikTok.

Why can’t I message someone on TikTok?

Check TikTok’s documented causes in this order: age, an earlier request, a block or setting on their side, their private account, then a restriction on yours.

  1. Is either of you under 16? Ages 13 to 15 have no DMs, and a parent can restrict messaging through Family Pairing.
  2. Did you already send a request? You get one until it’s accepted. If they deleted or ignored it, you can’t message them again.
  3. Have they blocked you, or chosen Don’t receive? Then you can’t send them a request at all.
  4. Do they have a private account and follow you? You can’t message them until you follow them back.
  5. Is your messaging restricted? A DM that breaks TikTok’s Community Guidelines can bring a warning, a suspension of sending DMs (typically 24 to 48 hours), a view-only restriction (typically 72 hours to one week) or, for zero-tolerance violations, a permanent ban. Checked against TikTok Help Center: Why can't I send or receive direct messages?
  6. No Chat button? TikTok marks it “in select regions”; Message on the profile of someone you both follow is the other route it documents.

To see whether your own messaging is restricted, open Account check: it lists a DM restriction as “Direct messages: Restricted from sending messages”, and violation notices sit under System notifications in your inbox. TikTok publishes no appeal steps specific to DMs; the notification it sends explains the reason and how to appeal.

In the app: From TikTok Studio:

  1. In the TikTok app, tap Profile at the bottom.
  2. Tap the Menu ☰ button at the top, then select TikTok Studio.
  3. Within More tools, tap Account check.

In the app: From Safety Center:

  1. In the TikTok app, tap Profile at the bottom.
  2. Tap the Menu ☰ button at the top, then select Settings and privacy.
  3. Tap Support.
  4. Tap Safety Center.
  5. Tap Account check.

In the app: To review notices of violations:

  1. In the TikTok app, tap Inbox.
  2. Tap System notifications.
  3. Tap Account updates. You may need to scroll across.

Checked against TikTok Help Center: Check your account status.

Are TikTok DMs private?

They’re encrypted while being sent and stored, but not end to end: TikTok says end-to-end encryption isn’t currently available, and it can decrypt data in response to valid legal processes and to enforce its Community Guidelines. Checked against TikTok Help Center: Direct messages — FAQs

Your own filters: safe mode is on by default and can hide messages with sensitive content, depending on your location, and filtered keywords hide messages containing words you add, though certain keywords can’t be filtered.

In the app: To turn safe mode on or off:

  1. In the TikTok app, tap Profile at the bottom.
  2. Tap the Menu ☰ button at the top, then select Settings and privacy.
  3. Tap Privacy.
  4. Tap Direct messages.
  5. Turn the Safe mode setting on or off.

In the app: To add keywords:

  1. In the TikTok app, tap Profile at the bottom.
  2. Tap the Menu ☰ button at the top, then select Settings and privacy.
  3. Tap Privacy.
  4. Tap Direct messages.
  5. Tap Filtered keywords.
  6. Turn the Filtered keywords setting on. Enter a word or phrase that you'd like to hide from your chats, then tap Add.

Checked against TikTok Help Center: Safety features for direct messaging.

To stop someone messaging you, block them from your inbox:

On iPhone:

  1. In the TikTok app, tap Inbox at the bottom.
  2. Swipe a chat and tap More, then tap Block.
  3. Tap Block again to confirm.

On Android:

  1. In the TikTok app, tap Inbox at the bottom.
  2. Press and hold on a chat, then tap Block.
  3. Tap Block again to confirm.

Checked against TikTok Help Center: Block someone from messaging you.

Voice messages are shared with TikTok, its affiliates and/or vendors to provide transcriptions. Checked against TikTok Help Center: Direct messages

Can Outfeed read or send TikTok messages?

See what Outfeed AI does

TikTok messages FAQ

How old do you have to be to DM on TikTok?

At least 16. TikTok says direct messaging is available to registered account holders aged 16 and older; ages 13 to 15 get no DMs, whether their account is private or public. Parents and guardians can restrict messaging through Family Pairing.

Can you see if someone read your TikTok message?

Only if you both have read status turned on. TikTok says the other person knows you’ve read their message only when both of you have it on, and it’s on by default for people aged 18 and older.

How many people can be in a TikTok group chat?

Public group chats can have up to 300 members. For private group chats, which only mutual friends can be invited to, TikTok gives a number only for creating one from a post: up to 31 people. Neither type is available everywhere.

Can you unsend a message on TikTok?

Yes, within 3 minutes. Press and hold the message, tap Delete, then Delete for everyone to remove it for you and the receivers. Delete for me removes it only for you. Voice messages can also be deleted within 3 minutes of sending.

Are TikTok messages private?

Not end to end. TikTok says direct messages are encrypted while being sent and stored, but end-to-end encryption isn’t currently available, and it can decrypt data in response to valid legal processes and to enforce its Community Guidelines.

tiktok direct messages privacy group chats